Ikiru

RAGBRAI!

2008-05-01T13:31:43Z

We're IN!

My older brother (Arizona) and I (Connecticut) have been talking about doing a long bike ride for years. Today the RAGBRAI lottery was held to select 10,000 bicyclists to ride across Iowa for seven days in July (60-100 miles a day) and we were selected.

You start with your rear wheel in the Missouri River and end with your front wheel in the Mississippi. We camp at school football fields and such (and it sounds like there is a bit of partying that goes on each night, too). You eat at food stands set up by every boy scout troop and church and civic group along the whole route. There's about 22,000 cumulative feet in climbs (Iowa is not flat ... who'd of thunk it, huh?), but I sense that Connecticut just might be a bit hillier (average distance between hills here is about 200 feet). Iowa heat and humidity in late July might be a concern, but there don't seem to be very many "serious" bikers on this; most seem to have big grins on their faces (in spite of their hangovers).

Now, I need to start some "serious" training. I did a 40-mile ride last Thursday (felt fine for first 30 miles, but couldn't walk a straight line after the last ten), but have kissed off until today (a week later). Being accepted means I need to start riding just about every day with a goal of doing two 60-mile rides on two consecutive days.

If you want to read more about this, read RAGBRAI Guide for Virgins.

We're psyched for this; it will be great to ride ... it will be great to be with my brother again!

See you on the road!

My First Protest Against the Iraq Invasion

2008-04-05T21:36:25Z

This picture reminds me of the high-school girl who organized a protest in Norwich, CT three and a half months before the invasion. I was impressed by her resolve and courage, and, being retired with "nothing better to do," I drove through the snow storm as soon as I read about her plans in the morning paper. There were just a few of us there, but her youthful indignation was the catalyst that got me out of my own indulgent and slothful "retirement rocking chair" and out on to the streets.

Sunday, January 5, 2003
Teen organizes city protest against Iraqi war
By FRANCIS McCABE
Special to the Bulletin

NORWICH -- Standing in front of the war memorials on Chelsea Parade Saturday, 15 protesters demonstrated against the impending war with Iraq.

Protest organizer Jill Palmer, 15, of Canterbury said she wasn't sure how many people would join her when she posted signs Friday announcing the event.
Palmer was committed enough to the issue to carry on the protest with just her sister, Sarah Riccardi, 20. "I didn't want to be pessimistic, but I didn't think there would be this many people out here," Palmer said.

Douglas Wray, 58, of Yantic, heard about the noon protest at 11:55 a.m., and ran out of his house to get there on time. The demonstrators were prepared to stay as long as two hours in the wind and snow to show their opposition to a U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.

Holding signs proclaiming "Promote peace" and "Remember Vietnam," the protestors received signs of support from passing motorists, beeping horns and giving the thumbs-up sign.

Palmer was surprised and pleased by the response. We haven't had many people flip us off yet," she said.

Palmer's mother, Kally Palmer, joined her daughter at the rally.
"I thought we were in the minority because of all the media attention given to the war," she said.

Angry reaction

One woman slowed her car down and yelled angrily at the protestors that her son was over there. "Where is yours?" she asked. "I'm sorry that her son is there," protester Andrew Cordeira, 49, of Norwich, said.

A computer technician, Cordeira said free dialogue is what makes the U.S. a great country. He would not be convinced to change his opposition to a war.
"All war produces is more memorials to dead heroes," he said, pointing to the memorials on the green that list Norwich dead.

Angela Cordeira, 13, said she was against the war because there are children who will die from aerial bombardments. Angie Hart and Ben Richter, both 16 and of Norwich, joined the protest as members of Norwich Free Academy's Youth Peace Club.

"I think the reason the response has been so good is because the war is more real. We are closer to war than we were six months ago," Hart said.
She also said the response to anti-war protests was much more negative six months ago.

"I still don't think Bush has made a convincing case," Barbara Nelson, 57, of Norwich said. Nelson said she remembers Vietnam and doesn't want to see it happen again without cause. "Since Sept. 11, I realized that I need to voice my opinion," Nelson said. She encouraged people to call Connecticut senators Dodd and Lieberman as well as President Bush.

"We sing 'God Bless America'. We need to start singing 'God Bless the World'. We are all just human beings," Nelson said.

The End of One Environmental Group (and, hopefully, the start of several offsprings).

2008-04-05T20:48:24Z

Our First Earth Day Maypole (40 ribbons - over 30 feet tall)

New London Earth Day is no more. Over the past several years, we did a few good things (three successful Earth Day celebrations, advocating for preservation of city parks, organizing a public forum and high-level press conference to oppose the Broadwater Liquified Natural Gas barge in Long Island Sound and proposing the creation of a New London Sustainable Community Initiative committee to the City Council. When the Council approved our proposal, we then recruited qualified New London residents to be members of this important citizen task force. The City Council has officially appointed our candidates and they are now working to make New London, CT a more environmentally sustainable community.

After our small committee (at last count we numbered only six) did all the hard work of getting this initiative off the ground, somehow our sails were left luffing in the wind and we all eventually moved on to other things. The wake for this organization will be joyously celebrated at some local pub in the near future for all past members of New London Earth Day.

Five Years of War

2008-03-20T01:24:52Z

Today, in Hartford, CT, there were a few rallies to protest the war in Iraq. All Souls Unitarian Universalist Congregation (of which I am a member) bussed about 60 members to this event to join a total of about 200 from all across Connecticut. Here (and behind the cut) are a few pictures that I took.

It rained. Here is my waterlogged poster.

A dog named Tigin reminds us of simple Truths!

Boots remind us of Connecticut's fallen Soul-diers.

200+ Good Citizens gather at Federal Building.

All Souls (New London, CT) Minister, the Reverend Carolyn Patierno, inspires the crowd.

All Souls (New London, CT) choir director, Kit Johnson, leads everyone in songs promoting Peace.

Carolyn's reflections pull us all together.

A few of the many witnesses.

Five Patriots pouring blood(?) on Federal property.

Reading names of Iraqi dead while awaiting arrest for trespassing:
the Rev. Kathleen McTigue; Mark Colville, 46; his teenage daughter, Keely Colville, 17 (all of New Haven);
Caroline Bridgeman-Rees, 85 (Hamden), and Jim Barron, 80 (New Haven).

Officers of the law reviewing procedures for orderly arrests.
(They were, indeed, respectful of the protesters)

Yet another Unitarian Universalist Minister (New Haven), the Reverend McTigue is arrested.

Kathleen escorted to squad car.

Brave, young Keely being arrested (just think, for a second, of the moral strenth of this 17-year old - our future is in good hands).

The cost of Freedom!

Caroline being arrested ...

... and led to the squad car.

Cat West (Hartford), one of the last remaining protesters and another example of our hope for the Future!

Cairn left to remind the government of the rubble left in the lives of all people.

Children help the Public Works employees by keeping
touchstones to treasure for the rest of their lives.

(All photos for this entry: Copyright © 2008 by Douglas Wray)

Supposedly I look like these folks(?!)

2008-02-23T17:40:22Z

Click here to see a morph of my face into Robert Duvall's
He's always been one of my favorite actors, but this is SCARY!
(At least I finally get rid of the glasses that I've worn all my life)

Music of the Spheres

2008-02-21T05:08:18Z

Wednesday night's lunar eclipse (lousy photo, but, well, it was beautiful ... you should have been there)

Tomorrow (today? Thursday!) night, I get to substitute for a flutist in a concert given by a small (about 30 players) local orchestra. I'm really looking forward to it!

Passages

2008-01-26T02:08:35Z

Well, this could be just as good a Bible as any other book.

But, any of the hundred or so books listed to the left
as My Ten Favorite Books could serve just as well!

Well, let's see (hmm...): I was raised Augustana Synod (Swedish) Lutheran until the commies took over and it merged into some milk-toast-sounding Lutheran Church of America back in the early '60s.

I stuck with it anyhow until, oh, maybe the late '60s (had to get married in the right "church" after all, or my kids would roast in hell ... oh, they'll probably do that anyhow, but I'll be there to tell them one last time that "it builds character!")

Somehow I found Unitarian Universalism around 1970 (well, how I found it is a warm and encouraging memory of how one or two people can still be nice in this dog-eat-dog world, but that's for another day/soapbox here). My second marriage and my two sons were both celebrated in various UU ceremonies.

(Skip several chapters of Life at this point)

About ten years ago (after putting my toes into the waters of Zen, Pagan, Buddhism, Hedonism (well, maybe I went in all the way there and, spiritually, I'm still all wet), and, well, you name it and I've looked at about ten percent of what you might call out, I started to realize that maybe I was an agnostic (though I still rebel against labels of any kind).

I still think that Buddha came closest to getting it all right. His teachings are not a religion (folks who came later ruined it out of this illogical need to make it into something "bigger" that just the Humanism and a way to rid yourself of hangups that make Life not as rewarding as it should be).

About two years ago (if forced by waterboarding torture to put a label on myself) I would call myself an agnostic, but with the sidebar as a functional atheistic (great label, huh?).

About two months ago, I finally figured out that I am, indeed, an atheist and now that feels just about right.

The label atheist though just doesn't cut it for me, because there are enough negatives in Life already and I don't want a label that starts with that prickly "a" (= "not").

So, here's what I think (after two rather large rum cokes tonight): I think that when we die, that's it, folks! I think that, given that fact (grin), it makes Life all that more precious.

I think that it also means that we have to take total responsibility for our own Lives and Actions. It also follows logically that, since we are here for just a short time, we should make the most of it. That implies that it might be ok if we strive to make the World just a little better because of our short time being here (tricky ground, though, that value judgement of "a little better" ... be careful out there, my friends).

It also comes to my attention that, given that plan, I have and continue to waste vast portions of my Life (oh, well...).

It means that Beauty is even more precious because we have such a short time to appreciate it, to grok it (heh!) and that it is something that we ought to try to recognize in everything (oh, as I type that it sounds so New-Agey ... well, words are not my strongest suite, so take it for what it's worth).

The last two years or so, for example, I have really been getting off on the beautiful sculptures alongside our Winter roads ... take a second or two and look at that "dirty snow" that's been left by the plows. After a few days, the "dirt" absorbs the infrared rays of the sun and causes the snow to melt in wonderful, concrete forms (no "abstraction" here, ok?) that, when you get past the "dirty snow" slur are truly Beautiful.

I've already talked (scroll down about two or ten years ago in earlier LiveJournal entries below) about the beauty of bubbles from a coke being poured over ice cubes. I used to really get off on watching the cream I poured into my coffee ... don't ever stir it! It's better than a Lava Lamp if you just watch it (and Brownian Motion takes care of the "stirring" just fine). Oh, but I miss that so much lately, because I take my coffee black now (though, as I type this, I might just go back to adding cream, if only for the Beauty that I've been missing these last few years).

Oh, damn! I've gotten sidetracked and babblingly (sic) lost my train of thought (and, probably, a whole bunch of "important" points that I needed to make here).

To me, the "Great Mysteries" that some wallow in are only our "Collective Ignorance," but that our ignorance of the unknown is not something to bewail, but something to (hmmm ...) celebrate(?), because as the Venn Diagram circle representing our collective knowledge grows, the circumference between what we know and what we don't know also grows ... and that line in the sand represents both our present knowledge and the challenge for our future investigations and pursuits for further knowledge ("so many unknowns, so little time"). Isn't that great? (for you egoists out there, it really is ok (no, it is imperative) to say "I don't know!" when, in fact, you don't ... then follow it up with a "Hmmm ... I wonder ....").

I also know that folks who have already died that I loved still live on inside of me (well, actually, those still alive, too), because of their giving of themselves to me made me, in part, who I am now. Extrapolated backwards, they, too, were who they were because of others before them that, in turn, gave of themselves. And again, in turn, I hope, after I die, that a part of me will live on in the few people who have shared Life with me. It's a wonderful continuum of Life - just like the continual Breaking of Bread and Toasting with Wine and good, old Jokes that bring Tears to our Eyes and great Laughs to our Bellies!

This last paragraph (just above, that is) of my diatribe I know to be True and it probably says it all.

Oh, I've gone on for far too long ... even though there is much more that needs to be verbalized/vented in this, my Lifelong Hobby of Figuring It All Out.

Thomas Pynchon said something like "All we all really need is to be warm, well fed and well fucked." Is that a paraphrase of Maslow? But, you know(?), if you realize that that is true for most folks, maybe you can cut them a little slack now and then, right? And maybe, realizing that, we can all just try to help each other out a little more so that everyone can have a bit of comfort in their lives (of course, that also means standing up and speaking out when those basic comforts are being stolen through Greed, Ignorance and Corruption).

Finally (of course), "in the end, only kindness matters."

May it be so.

Yet Another Memory - Fantazma Gordo

2008-01-11T15:13:21Z

Honestly, this is a true story!

It's an understatement to say that I like kites. The walls of my home are covered with all kinds, from antique, hand-painted Japanese fighter kites and bamboo/tissue Indian fighter kites, to various large cloth mandalas and old stick/paper dime-store kites (remember dime stores?).

I have bunches of discontinued mylar and aluminum rod Vic's fighter kites, along with some very cool, two-string acrobatic kites that (I swear) can break the speed of sound just before they auger into the ground at the end of a not-so-successful power-dive (one of which is affectionately called "The Killer" ... it actually broke a friend's arm about a hundred years ago).

But, you know(?), in a way, my favorite kite of all time has been the Fantazma Gordo made by Gayla. You could buy these at any grocery/drug/gasoline/toy/department store back in the seventies (and maybe into the nineties ... I don't recall seeing them anywhere recently). They were all plastic, very cheap, ready-to-fly (string included) and they were just great if you wanted to just fly your hopes high on the spur of a moment.

They would launch from your hand in the slightest of breezes (you wouldn't even need to get out of your lawn chair) and they would fly almost straight up above your head. You could reel them in right back into your hand (again, never needing to leave your lawn chair).

Best of all, the Fantazma Gordo had this great screaming eagle in bright bold colors. OH,that reminds me of another memory (I'll get to the first one in a second): I was flying a Fantazma Gordo from a lawn chair on Gran Manan Island (in the Bay of Fundy), enjoying life with a pitcher of Margaritas, when three bald eagles flew overhead. The first two flew on, but the third circled around to investigate my kite. When he flew on, I swear I could hear the other two eagles laughing at him, calling him "Sucker!"

Anyhow, I was flying a Fantazma Gordo from my back yard in Connecticut back around 1973 or so, when the string broke. I tried to catch up with the dangling string dragging along the ground, but the wind was rather brisk and the kite took off over Route 2 in a generally easterly direction. I actually got in my car and tried to follow it, but I lost sight of it. Since these kites were very inexpensive, I didn't give it much more thought.

Now here's the part you won't believe: almost exactly a year later, I was in my back yard and I heard a fluttering and looked up over the trees to the west. There was a Fantazma Gordo kite wobbling and losing altitude and, yes, it landed in my yard, just a few feet from where I was sitting. Its string was broken.

I can't be sure, but I like to believe that it was the same kite coming home after circumnavigating the Whole Earth.

REALLY!

"In the midst of Winter, we find within ourselves the Invincible Summer"

2007-12-24T13:54:43Z

It's been two years since the last Winter Solstice celebration and this one was very windy and rainy, but, still, more than sixty people came together to share food, company, singing and yet another bonfire (though only about twenty people came outside into the tempest to stand around the fire).

The drums and other instruments stayed inside (though the bagpiper played under a distant porch and one (of two) basoonist(s) joined me in several pennywhistle duets at the fire).

The Fire Starts

Warming Up

Sparks (and raindrops on my lens)

When the wind and rain and cold had driven everyone inside, I stayed a bit for one last look

A bit of last-minute foolishness (I had forgotten to bring my Solsticeman mask and Earth Day cape).

Another Year ... Happy Birthday, Ludwig!

2007-12-17T00:00:35Z

Click on picture to hear just one of Beethoven's most beautiful pieces
(If you're on modem, you may want to skip this)

Lately, for some reason, I haven't been listening to much classical music. Instead, I've been grooving alot on the Allman Brothers, Pink Floyd, the Stones (particularly Exile on Main St.) and Lynyrd Skynyrd. All of them are wonderful and make me feel good, driving down the road, singing along and grinnin' like a frog eating onions.

But, here it is, December 16th and I started my annual Beethoven marathon yesterday, listening to the first seventeen of his thirty-two piano sonatas, and today I've finally worked my way through his symphonies and am just now listening to his final ninth symphony. Tomorrow, I'll finish the piano sonatas and wrap it up with his Missa Solemnis.

Guess what? As great as Lynyrd Skynyrd is, none of that rock stuff comes close to Beethoven. Who'da thunk it, anyhow?

If I get his complete string quartets in the next year, my marathon will have to start a week or so earlier.

Mary Ruth Gunn

2007-11-23T15:58:46Z

Lately, for some reason, I've been thinking alot about Mary Ruth Gunn.

I'm only guessing, but, I think this picture was taken sometime around 1992 (my beard was alot fuller and a whole lot browner back then).

Mary Ruth was one of my first real friends. She was much older than I and I got to know her when she started to accompany my flute solos in high school. We would practice at her house and then go down into the basement and shoot pool and talk and talk and laugh and tease each other and so on. But, in hindsight, I realized that Mary Ruth was being my first real mentor in Life. She would engage my mind by steering conversations into areas of philosophy or life situations; she would lend me books, saying "You really should read this, Douglas!" (I still have a never-returned copy of G.K. Chesterton that she lent to me).

I remember that we used to exchange gifts and that I always bought her some of the Irish enameled porcelin (you know, it has lots of shamrocks on it and the enamel goes from greenish to bluish in different places). I always wondered if she really liked that stuff or whether she was just being polite (knowing that I, as a still rather naive person, thought that it was just about the prettiest stuff you could ever buy ... I still feel that way).

I remember various musical moments that we both treasured for the rest of our lives. Going on the bus to Indianapolis for the state contest. We played Kennen's Night Soliliquoy and, even though it had a wicked piano part (she would turn the page and be greeted by a chord that went from the lowest range of the piano all the way up to the tinkly high notes (after which I would play a very fast credenza starting from the high range of the flute down to the lowest), we really, really liked this piece the best. At the state contest, we were the last ones to play after what must have been a very, very long day (for the judges, that is). When I started to play, the judge got out of his chair and went over to the window and just stared outside for the duration of the piece.

It was so late, though, that we immediately rushed to get back to the waiting bus and everyone asked "Well, how'd you do?" and I opened the scoring sheet and found he had given us a perfect seven. What made that really wonderful, though, was that on that piece, Mary Ruth and I were so in synch, so in tune with our spirits, that it seemed time and space ceased to exist ... indeed we ceased to exist ... there was just the music and we wanted it to never end. I've only had that happen a few times since and it is a real gift to have handed to you.

I remember another musical moment with Mary Ruth that wasn't so inspirational, but which probably had more lasting memory power; we played Chaminade's Concertino for my high school graduation. Somewhere in the middle of the piece, Mary Ruth turned the page and then stopped playing and looked at me with a completely blank and "deer in the headlights" look. It seems that the pages had somehow gotten mixed up and she didn't have a clue where we were. For years afterwards, however, she would tell the story that she looked at me and I had such a peaceful look that "All will be well" and she then found her place and we started to play as if we were merely starting the "second movement" (of this one-movement piece).

I remember, though, that my only thought at the time was "What in the HELL is going on with you, Mary Ruth?" Peace was the farthest thing in my panic-ridden heart (remember all my classmates and their parents were sitting in the hot gymnasium watching us and I still have no idea what Mary Ruth was reading in my face!

I could go on and on (well, I already have, haven't I), but let me click the years forward a bit. I eventually went to college, got married, moved to Connecticut and lost track of Mary Ruth (she had moved, too). Then, in 1992 (I think?), during a trip back to Indiana, I was driving down the little dirt road that parallels the shore of Lake Michigan and I saw a group of people assembling a bluebird house in their driveway. As I kept driving, I was thinking that the matriarch of this family group looked alot like Mary Ruth, so I put the car in reverse, backed down the road and stopped to ask directions (even though I didn't really need them). Hearing her voice, I was pretty sure that it was, indeed, Mary Ruth and so I asked "Mary Ruth?" She looked at me completely puzzled (remember, the last time she saw me I was perhaps 25 years old, skinny, no beard), but, when I told her who I was, it was (again) like the sun came out for both of us.

We sat and talked and talked and laughed and teased and (now) cried. She told things I had never known. When she was very young, she had eloped with her cousin - they were very much in love, but his family hunted them down, brought them back home and had the marriage annulled. She remarried and had a great marriage with (I think) a daughter and a son. After many years, however, her husband died of a heart attack and her daughter (now grown with a child of her own) died of brain cancer (and the long duration of her suffering put alot of strain on her relationship to Mary Ruth). She still had her beloved harpsichord, but it wasn't tuned because she could no longer play. She had had some kind of brain seizures in recent years which left her uncertain about even the next moment in Life. She was pretty down about life at that point, since it had done a pretty good job of giving her a few significant blows.

I saw her once more a few years later when I brought my youngest son with me (he was just a toddler at the time). I remember that she had a huge brandy snifter full of clear, colored marbles and that Ben had been hypnotised by the beauty of the sun shining through them and that Mary Ruth gave the whole shebang to him without hesitation (the snifter broke a few years ago, but the marbles are still in my kitchen window in an Erlenmyer flask ... waiting for Ben).

Then a few years later, I got a letter from her son saying that he had found an unopened letter from me in her effects ... she had, indeed, had another one of those brain seizures and, after spending some time in a nursing home, had died. He also told me that she had always talked about me to her family and friends. Boy, did I cry when I read that letter (I'm crying right now).

Anyhow, the thing I really wanted to share here, was the letter that Mary Ruth sent to me after my mother died. My mother died when she was 49 years old and I was 20 years old. The letter that Mary Ruth sent to me probably had more to do with shaping who I am now that even Tolstoy or Beethoven or Nick Meneakis (my high school algebra teacher). I carried it around for years, folded up in my wallet, until it started to fall apart. I quoted from it many times in my life when her words were just perfect for other situations. It's now in the relative safety of my home filing system (which means that noone will ever, ever be able to find it again). I just typed it out this morning and, well, here it is:

Jan. 14, 1965

Dearest Doug,

I have been meaning to write to you everyday but you have been so almost ever-present in my consciousness that I keep feeling that I have, if you follow me. I have prayed for you and for your father Perry. I do not know what small winds of comfort this inspires, if any, and I do not know that it does any good, I only know that if God can help you through these bad times and bring you some measure of comfort or relief or even resignation, then I want Him to do so. Thoughts do wing and touch and love is transportable and we have always been good friends in spite of the division of our years. I was never really so much second-mother to you as friend and friends are sometimes harder to find than mothers. Just know that I think on thee and wait without impatience or demand to see you whenever you are in the mood. I have no words of help. Life is strange and not always sensible or understandable except as history is understandable … only in the long view … for it is not history until it is past and so sometimes do the things that happen to us seem to gain some meaning, some added significance, some pattern, some reason … only in perspective. I cannot at the moment see any sense to your mother’s death but perhaps she was spared unbearable suffering, perhaps God needed her light somewhere else … but seldom do things happen without sense even when the world seems its’ most mad and irresponsible.

I know that you are more concerned about your father at the moment than yourself. I wrote to him. I should like to know him better. Your mother and I always meant to “get together” … we thought, as foolish people always think, or even just people always think, that there is lots of time. There is never any. There is only the moment … to know, to look at one another, to love in. This is what the author of Our Town says so poignantly and pointedly and it is a lesson we should learn. To really see one another now this moment, and not only each other but life and things and smell and feel and allow life to touch us … not wildly or recklessly or with any licentious abandon, but with attention, the attention of a scholar and with the understanding of a philosopher and with the love of a poet. Then only do we not waste each other or our lives. One night when my father had had a heart attack and I was frantically riding to Chicago to the hospital on the South Shore feeling that it was slower than walking and that I would never get there in time to see him alive (this was not hysterics, the doctor summoned me to see him die, he thought) a thought came to me almost as tho my father were beside me being the good friend he had always been and it was simply this … that it really did not matter. He and I had loved one another greatly, simply and honestly, enjoyed one another and that really there was no more to be had anyhow. We had had the all and no one could ever take that from me. Perhaps you and your mother had the “all” too and no amount of time could have increased your affection nor your pleasure in each other. It is a great deal to have had and more than many ever find in their relationships. It does not mean that you never disagreed, nor ever misunderstood one another, but that always she was really “with” you in the best sense of the word and loved you with all her heart and had great pride in you. That is all there ever is! Your parents’ marriage was a very good one. Weep not for them. Again perhaps that is all there ever could be. Perfection is never forever. It is sad that it ends this way sometimes but it is no sadder than some of life’s tragedies, that are really tragedies when two people marry and remain strangers and lonely all their lives together. They had something good and knew it. This is a triumph over all of life and the grave.

I have been wandering on and not being very wise nor putting well what I am trying to say. If I am not clear, it is because I have not thought all of this out well. It is only to tell you the little I know. If I should never see you again, you would remain quite real and good to me and my friend. When something is real, it is indestructible in our minds and hearts. Does that say it?

Probably not! Know that I love you dearly with no strings nor demands nor ties. I am delighted to know that we share mutual friends in the Youngs. Mrs. Young is one of the finest women I have ever known. She is most fond of you. It comforts me to know they watch over you.

Wie immer,

Mary Ruth Gunn

Wie immer? As always!

(during my 1992 visit, I told Mary Ruth how much this letter had meant to me, but she couldn't remember it. When I got back to Connecticut, I sent a copy of it to her, saying that I was guessing that her own words might just possibly be of comfort to her now).

Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T20:05:19Z

Happy Bird Day, everyone (all two or three of you). Whoever you are, I wish you all the best!

It is above 60 degrees F. today, but I couldn't ride my bike because I caught a really bad cold somewhere (couldn't even talk this morning ... a blessing?).

Regardless, I'm off for my annual feast at my friends', Barb and Suzanne, home where I will try my best to carry on a tradition of rowdiness.

Tomorrow? Supposed to be in the 30's (F.) ... WTFO?!

Oh Happy Day

2007-11-17T00:13:36Z

Just got my new Surly Long Haul Trucker and, after somewhat of a struggle,
I finally got it together and went our for our first 10-mile ride.

I should have had my iPod Wannabe (Philips) ear-buds stuck in my ears
with Willie singing "On the Road Again."

Two and a Half Weeks of Life

2007-11-13T17:24:39Z

Two weeks ago at a wine-tasting fundraiser for New London Adult Education.
(I really love playing with this group ... they're my friends!)

One week ago at a Pfizer art exhibit.
(I really love playing with this group ... they're my friends!)

Two days ago at the "John Harvard" statue in Harvard Yard.
(Local superstition is that it's good luck to touch his shiny toe)
I love this bunch of Hooligans, but since I was their chaperone ... I hope I'm still their friend!

Lost Images

2007-11-06T12:50:56Z

I just found out that one (actually, it was my first ever) of the on-line collections of my photos ("Juggling at Heaven's Gate" link above) got deleted because of inactivity. So, I ask you for patience, please, while I try to find the images and upload them elsewhere to make the red exes throughout this journal go away.

In the meantime, did anyone see the moon and Venus yesterday morning? Here's my (overexposed) attempt to photograph it:

Monhegan Island - 2007

2007-10-22T12:11:34Z

Monhegan Island

2007-10-04T23:19:06Z

Sarah Orne Jewitt wrote:

. . . the first salt wind from the east, the first sight of a lighthouse set boldly on its outer rock, the flash of a gull, the waiting processing of seaward-bound firs on an island, made me feel solid and definite again, instead of a poor, incoherent being. Life was resumed, and anxious living blew away as if it had not been. I could not breathe deep enough or long enough. It was a return to happiness.

Tomorrow morning, I return to Monhegan Island for the twelfth year. I never could improve on Sarah's words for what these two weeks mean to me.

Tempus Fugit (YAM #10)

2007-09-24T11:59:48Z

I am (was?) the kid in the back row, third from right (i.e., including the teacher) wearing the geeky white shirt and suspenders (of course!)

I'm not sure, but our class just might have been the only class to go all the way from Kindergarten (Kinder Garden!) to graduating from High School at this one school in Gary, Indiana.

At any rate (dv/dt?), a lot of water has certainly gone under the bridge and over the dam since then, right?

So, when do I win?

2007-09-02T04:05:06Z

I was writing an email to an old friend tonight and, while I was babbling on and on, I realized that I retired from my job of 31 years (at one place) exactly seven years ago, today.

One coincidence is that this is the same friend who sat in my office the last afternoon of my career and we drank a bottle of wine (New Leaf, appropriately, that she had given to me earlier in the day) and we just talked and talked, reliving old memories and laughing about so many things. This went on while I should have been packing up my van with the 31 years of detritus from my office.

After she left, I (by then, it was night and I really didn't care all that much, at that point, about what I took home and what I left (having consumed my New Leaf)) finally just tossed whatever would fit in the van and was about to leave when I noticed that the Base Security folks had left me a parting present of a parking ticket. Well well well .... a nice fair winds and following seas, indeed. I chuckled and I hope that I still have that unanswered summons somewhere in all my memorablia of those years.

Well, tonight, not having a pitcher of Margaritas to celebrate my seven years of retirement, I've had a few glasses of (probably) my all-time favorite, Myer's Rum (on the rocks) and I remembered (over those 31 years) all the folks who retired and then were dead within a year or two after retirement, and all the folks who could have retired, but were dead before they ever got out the doors and a few others dear souls who just couldn't take it any more and ended their own lives before they were even eligible for retirement.

One benchmark of "winning" in this screwy game is that point when the govenment has paid back to you all the money that you contributed (over those 31 years) towards your own retirement. For me, that happened many years ago.

Still, I think of all those dear friends, and coworkers and also the countless people who (for me) are (at this time) only vague memories (there must have been about a thousand people, over those 31 years, that were part of the "family" at the place I worked), all of whom are no longer alive.

Who really is the "winner" here?

What in the HELL is it all about (, Alfie)?

Maybe I should just pour myself another Myers and say "Goodnight."

Damn! I missed the Jimmie Buffet concert at the casino last night!

As my bro always (used to) say: "Boogie on in Peace!"

Methinks that just might be the only way to "Win!"

What do you think?

Oh, I just remembered ... my last gesture was to tape to my office door a copy of the last page from the kid's book, Ferdinand, where the bull is sitting peacefully under a tree with the caption "and he was very happy!"

Hmmm ... Methinks just maybe I was a winner seven years ago.
Am I right, or am I not wrong?

Pas de Deux (Norman McLaren)

2007-08-25T12:55:56Z



Pas de Deux by Norman McLaren
A movie (13 minutes 20 seconds) made by Norman McLaren in 1968 using an optical printer (no digital effects here ... it must have taken just short of forever to do). I first saw it during a photography class that I was taking in the '70s and I thought it was one of the most beautiful things ... ever (and I've never forgotten about it)! Now, through the wonders of the Internets, I have once again found yet another old friend (who has stood up pretty well to the ravages of time and advancing technology).

One of my All-Time Heros

2007-08-14T18:08:16Z

For years and years, I've hung a quote on my refrigerator by Jeannette Rankin (two-time Congresswoman from Montana and the only person to vote against both World Wars, let alone the only person in all of congress to vote against WWII):

"There can be no compromise in war; it cannot be reformed or controlled; cannot be disciplined with decency or codified into common sense; for war is the slaughter of human beings, temporarily regarded as enemies, on as large a scale as possible."

That just about says it all, right?

Dick Goodwin

2007-07-26T10:15:26Z

Another friend has died. Richard Goodwin, 1910 - 2007. Noted environmentalist, botanist and philanthroper. His obituary and picture were published in the New York Times, the LA Times, the Boston Globe and many, many others.

I remember his kindness, his thoughtfulness, his carefully chosen words, his passion and his generosity. For several summers, a friend and I organized an annual poetry reading, where folks just came together and read their favorite poems. Dick was always there, enthusiastically reading, not only some of the classics, but a few of his own poems from years ago.

His book, A Botanist's Window on the Twentieth Century is a jewel and a delight to read.

As is said too infrequently, "they threw away the mold when Dick was born."

Memorial service is this Saturday, July 28th, at All Souls Unitarian Universalist in New London, CT. Some of us in the choir will be singing John Rutter's For the Beauty of the Earth.

Saving the World

2007-07-16T15:05:04Z

Well, our small, but very active environmental action group (New London Earth Day) has been working very hard for some time on a proposal aimed at reducing greenhouse gas emissions for New London County (Connecticut, USA). Tonight, we finally make our formal presentation to the New London City Council (though we have already been trying to grease the skids by meeting one-on-one with most of the Council members and the City Manager).

(among other things, I created and maintain the New London Earth Day website)

This morning, the New London Day printed a good article about our efforts. We're pretty psyched about the Council meeting tonight. Stay tuned for details at 11!

New London is Being Asked To Join Drive To Reduce CO2

By Judy Benson

Published on 7/16/2007 in Home »Health & Science »Health & Science Wire

New London — The city is being asked to join more than 600 others across the country in signing on to the U.S. Conference of Mayors' Climate Protection Agreement, a pledge to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions in the city from homes, businesses, vehicles and public buildings that are the main cause of global climate change.
New London Earth Day, a local environmental organization, will present its request to the City Council at its regular meeting at 7 p.m. tonight.

Arthur Costa, the New London Earth Day member who will give the presentation, said the first step would be for the council to approve the formation of a task force that would be called the New London Sustainable Community Initiative Committee. It would develop recommendations for reducing greenhouse gas emissions that would be presented to the council. The council would also be asked to sign the agreement.

Thirteen other Connecticut communities have already joined the hundreds elsewhere in the country that have signed the agreement. It began in Seattle in 2005 after the White House refused to sign the international Kyoto Protocol and U.S. mayors sought a way to follow the protocol's emissions reductions goals on their own.

According to the U.S. Conference of Mayors Web site, the only other southeastern Connecticut community that has signed the agreement thus far is Ledyard. Mayor Susan Mendenhall could not be reached for comment Friday. Bridgeport, Easton, Fairfield, Hamden, Hartford, Mansfield, Middletown, Milford, New Haven, Stamford, Stratford and West Haven also have signed it.

New London Mayor Margaret M. Curtin said Friday that she supports the formation of a committee to look at the New London Earth Day proposal. She hopes the city will consider other environmental proposals as well, such as erecting wind turbines to produce electricity.

The task force, she said, should be composed of five to seven residents, including some who have scientific and engineering expertise.

One of the first jobs of the task force, Costa said, would be to figure out how much carbon dioxide is being emitted from homes, businesses and vehicles throughout the city. Once the baseline is established, it can figure out how that could be reduced in keeping with the agreement's goals of 7 percent below the 1990 levels by 2012.

City government, residents and businesses could also benefit financially by lowering fuel and electricity consumption, he added. New alternative energy businesses could be created.

No initial investment from the city would be required, Costa said. Any funds the group might need to carry out proposals in the future would be paid for with grants it would seek.

The undertaking, he said, would not only be good for the environment, but also for city residents, because it could help create a greater sense of community and shared sense of purpose.

“All of that can converge into solutions,” he said.

Recent troubling news about the projected effects of climate change on Connecticut, including more frequent and severe flooding in coastal areas such as New London, have intensified the sense of urgency about taking action, he said. Those projections were included in a report on climate change in the Northeast released Wednesday by the Union of Concerned Scientists.

“This is a moment we can take advantage of,” he said.

Another year (ho hum)...

2007-07-10T22:53:19Z

So, since I got a flat tire earlier this week, and since I promised myself that if one of these old, tubular, sewn-up, glued-onto-the-rim tires ever went flat that I would go buy a new bike, and since I had a major "gulp" upon learning just how much a decent bike costs these days (my old one is over 30 years old), and since my wonderful brother convinced me to crack open my old wallet (if I can find it around here someplace) with the words "What the heck else am I going to spend my money on? I’ve suddenly realized that instead of saving for a rainy day, I’d just view life as a constant gentle shower and spend some money," and since (ta-dah!) today is my 63rd birthday, today I started in earnest looking for my new bike.

It's going to be one of these two ... which do YOU think I should get?

The Classic

~~or~~
The Tetrahedral

Monhegan Island

2007-07-02T11:29:56Z

I just archived about 130 pictures of Monhegan Island here.

I probably have a couple of thousand more, so I'll be adding more from time to time.

I love this place!